A 35-year-old woman is feeling very uncomfortable about her husband’s relationship with a coworker. Although she has always felt secure in her marriage, she began to notice red flags in her husband’s behavior. She reached out to us, sharing her story and asking for advice because her instincts tell her something is wrong, but she doesn’t want to make mistakes.
Andrea, 35, wrote to us saying she’s worried about how close her husband is to one of his coworkers. She wanted to know if she was right to feel negative about their relationship.
She started her story, “I’m 35, and I work as a beautician. I’m married to Paul, who is 33 and an engineer. Paul is smart and very intelligent, and I’ve always been proud of him. He has a colleague named Alyson, who is 30. She’s very attractive and intelligent. Paul is close to her and even calls her his ‘work wife.’ Before all of this, I never felt uncomfortable about their relationship, and I was always secure in my marriage. Paul and I are both independent people, and we wouldn’t stay together if we weren’t happy. We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 2.”
Andrea continued, “Last month, Paul and I went on a 3-day trip with his coworkers, which is a yearly tradition at his job. After the trip, I felt uneasy. It was like I and Alyson’s husband were the third wheels, while Paul and Alyson spent all their time together.”
She explained, “On the second night of the trip, during dinner, I was feeling ignored by Paul and was quietly playing with my food. Alyson’s husband and I started talking to each other because our spouses were busy with their own conversation. Alyson suddenly turned around and asked what we were talking about. Her husband said we were just chatting since they were busy discussing things we didn’t know about. Alyson laughed and said, ‘What could we talk about with you? Makeup and pop stars?’ while looking at me. She added, ‘We have more intelligent things to discuss.’”
Andrea said, “I was shocked. She made me feel like I was just a stupid outsider who could only talk about celebrities and makeup. My husband just laughed, but Alyson’s husband called her out for being rude. I didn’t say anything because I was disgusted with the whole situation. On the last day of the trip, I spent most of my time with Alyson’s husband and ignored Paul and Alyson.
